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Monday, April 4, 2016

Latest Movie News From Moviefone

Latest Movie News From Moviefone


Caitlyn Jenner Joins 'Transparent' Season 3

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US-OSCARS-AFTERPARTYAcclaimed Amazon series "Transparent" is adding a famous face to its cast: Caitlyn Jenner will appear in the upcoming third season of the show.

"Transparent" creator Jill Soloway confirmed Jenner's casting in an interview with The Associated Press, telling the news service that it was "a dream come true" to welcome the former Olympian and current "I Am Cait" star to the fold. Soloway declined to provide specific details about Jenner's role, including how many episodes she'll appear in, though it seems that she is playing a fictional character, and not herself.

Jenner became a prominent face of the transgender community when she came out as a woman in an interview with ABC's Diane Sawyer last year. She then launched her E! reality show, "I Am Cait," to bring awareness to her personal transition journey, as well as highlight important issues within the transgender community. The series won a GLAAD Media Award this weekend, tying for best reality series, and "Transparent" picked up the statuette for best comedy series. "Transparent" follows the life of sixtysomething Maura Pfefferman (Jeffrey Tambor), who comes out as transgender to her family.

"We are all part of the same community. A lot of the transwomen who work on our show are also in her show, 'I am Cait,'" Soloway told the AP of getting Jenner to agree to appear on the series. "Lots of crossover. Lots of friends."

Jenner will begin filming her scenes for the show sometime this week. Season three of "Transparent" does not have a release date yet, but is due out sometime later this year.

[via: The Associated Press]

Photo credit: AFP/Getty Images

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'Game of Thrones' Gets HBO Recap Show 'After the Thrones'

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the ringer, after the thrones, game of thrones, after show, recap show, andy greenwald, chris ryanLike "The Walking Dead" and "Breaking Bad" before it, "Game of Thrones" is getting in on the after show trend, and will launch a new recap series, "After the Thrones," to coincide with the show's upcoming sixth season.

"After the Thrones" is set to premiere on Monday, April 25, the day after the "Thrones" season premiere, and will be hosted by critics and podcasters Andy Greenwald and Chris Ryan, in conjunction with Bill Simmons's new sports and pop culture venture, The Ringer. Greenwald and Ryan previously hosted the popular Watch the Thrones and Hollywood Prospetcus podcasts for Grantland before the site shuttered in 2015, and now co-host The Watch for The Ringer's podcast network.

Here's the official logline for the series, per The Ringer and the "After the Thrones" site:

An epic show deserves an epic conversation, and Chris Ryan and Andy Greenwald are answering the call on 'After the Thrones.' Beginning April 25, they will host a weekly 'Game of Thrones' recap show on HBO NOW, HBO GO, HBO On Demand, as well as other affiliate portals, breaking down each week's episode with the help of superfan guests and experts.

...

Each week, After the Thrones recaps the latest episode, explaining the who, what, when and where, exploring the complicated politics and history of Thrones, and offering absurd and not-so-absurd theories about future episodes.


As the synopsis notes, the series will first be available only on HBO Now and HBO Go. "After the Thrones" will eventually be broadcast on traditional HBO channels as well, though the specifics are TBA. (Greenwald also promised that the show would be made available in podcast form, too.)

While shows like "Talking Dead" have just about worn out their welcome, we're cautiously optimistic that this format can work for "Thrones," precisely because of Greenwald and Ryan's involvement. Their podcasts are great and they have an easy rapport that should make for a fun show. As The Ringer's most recent newsletter proclaimed, banter is coming, and we can't wait.

[via: The Ringer, After the Thrones]

Photo credit: After the Thrones

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Is 'Batman v Superman' Box Office Kryptonite?

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Spare a moment's pity for Batman and Superman.

They may be two of the most beloved superheroes in superherodom, and their movie opened huge last week, launching the DC Extended Universe mega-franchise that will (hopefully) be Warner Bros.' golden spigot for at least the next five years. But all anyone can talk about this weekend is the steep second-weekend drop for "Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice."

Sure, "BvS" stayed in the top spot for its second straight weekend, earning $51.8 million. But that figure represents a huge plunge of 69 percent from last weekend's debut. It's the fifth largest second-weekend drop ever for a blockbuster that enjoyed a debut above $100 million.

What does that plunge mean? Did moviegoer sentiment catch up to the critics, who made "BvS" one of the worst-reviewed blockbusters in recent memory? Is the $250 million movie going to lose money for the studio? Are the rest of Warners' DCEU plans in trouble?

It's amusing to see all the schadenfreude over the movie's second-week stumble, especially after all the gloating last week about how the initial "BvS" success would prove the final nail in the coffin of professional film criticism. The same people who were insisting last week that the fans were the only judges who mattered are now panicking that the fans seem to agree with the critics.

Nonetheless, there's a lot to unpack in this weekend's box office drop-off, so let's see if we can
answer all the burning questions.
Did the criticism matter after all?
Probably not, but it turns out that moviegoers weren't wild about "BvS" either. They gave it a B grade at CinemaScore, which indicates unenthusiastic word-of-mouth.

It was easy to dismiss the film's negative reviews as the whines of critics who don't like superhero movies. That seems unfair, however, since plenty of superhero movies, including Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy, earned thumbs-up from critics. And plenty of blockbuster spectacles that raked in money despite critical pans really did turn out to be weak films that even fans found hard to defend. Hollywood may have figured out how to get crowds to line up for such films on opening weekend despite their misgivings -- largely through fear of missing out on the pop-cultural conversation at large, or merely fear that it'll be harder to keep up with the extended franchise without seeing the early installments. But even DC Comics fans seem to have acknowledged that "BvS" didn't meet all their expectations.

Whether the griping has come from critics or ticketbuyers, Warners seems to be taking it seriously. So seriously, in fact, that there was a report this week that the studio was embarking on expensive, last-minute reshoots for the next DCEU movie, this summer's "Suicide Squad." The studio apparently took to heart the complaints that "BvS" was too ponderous and grim, since the reshoots are supposedly going to add more lightness and humor to the August release.
Does the second-week drop mean the movie's a flop?
Not necessarily. Drops of 50 to 60 percent are common for superhero films. Fans who have the most invested emotionally tend to go on opening night, driving up the opening weekend numbers, so there's an inevitable fall the second weekend. The drop is more troublesome when you consider that the film faced no major competition in the marketplace from the other studios -- it had the weekend all to itself.

The "BvS" drop is steeper than most, but the movie has still earned $261.5 million in 10 days of release in North America and a total of $682.9 million worldwide. There's no reason to think the film won't eventually top $1 billion worldwide -- which it'll have to do for the studio to break even.Could there be another factor behind this weekend's precipitous plunge?
The most obvious is the NCAA Final Four games. It's not surprising that a film targeted largely toward guys might be hurt by viewers who'd rather watch college basketball players battle for a national title than watch spandex-clad heroes duke it out on the big screen. Indeed, the March Madness contests may also have kept people from going to see this weekend's two new wide releases, "God's Not Dead 2" and "Meet the Blacks," both of which performed below expectations.
So, what are the takeaways?
First, there's no point in panicking when a movie that's on track to gross more than $1 billion makes only $51.8 million its second weekend instead of $58 million. Second, if you do want to earn that extra few million, you're less likely to leave money on the table if you make a movie that critics and fans alike can recommend to others without reservation. And third, not even the Man of Steel can overcome March Madness brackets.

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The Trailer for Daniel Radcliffe's Farting Corpse Movie Is Bizarre, But Beautiful

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The "Swiss Army Man" trailer is now here, and it's super weird. And intriguing. Odd. Moving. Unique. Strangely beautiful. Maybe even profound. And, sure, a bit gassy.

You may have heard about this one when it premiered to walk-outs at Sundance. It's now infamous as the indie film where "Harry Potter" alum plays a farting corpse, opposite as a suicidal man stuck on a deserted island.

But the trailer shows us there's more to the deep, philosophical story, including speech from the "corpse," who is only shown to fart one time (although the film supposedly includes more flatulence than that). The two characters appear to bond in A24's surreal, magical trailer, which includes the tagline, "There are 7 billion people on the planet. You might be lucky enough to bump into the one person you want to spend the rest of your life with."

Watch the trailer:
"Swiss Army Man," directed by , , is scheduled for release this summer.

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EP Marc Guggenheim Teases Jonah Hex's Arrival and More 'Fun Stuff' Ahead on 'Legends of Tomorrow'

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WonderCon 2016 - Day 3 Marc Guggenheim controls the fates of legends -- most specifically, the superheroic (and supervillainish) legends populating the DC Comics television universe on "DC's Legends of Tomorrow," where the executive producer and his colleagues continue to concoct all sorts of time-travel action and interpersonal drama to test the ragtag team aboard the Waverider.

Guggenheim recently made a trip to WonderCon in Los Angeles, where amid his cross-chronological plotting and pacing he found a pocket of time for Moviefone and offered a peek at the future challenges ahead -- Jonah Hex! Per Degaton! Memories of Hawkman! -- for DC's finest.

Moviefone: The race is on to the end of the season. Let's talk about the things that you're excited for the fans to see going forward.

Marc Guggenheim: I tell you, the second half of the year I think is even stronger than the first half of the year. I just think we really hit our stride. The episodes that we've got coming up, they're even zanier. They're even wackier. I think we've got a couple of our timey-wimey-est episodes, some really cool ideas and concepts behind things. Some really fun character dynamics.

The development of the Ray/Kendra relationship is a big piece of that. You'll see more with Sara and Snart. Obviously, there's going to be fallout from Snart's voting Rory off the island, as it were, at the end of Episode Seven. There's a lot of pieces -- there's even pieces I don't even think the fans are expecting. We're going to learn a lot more about the in the back half of the year that I think people weren't planning on seeing. So a lot of fun stuff coming.

As we move into the second half of the season, is there somebody you would like to say, "Keep your eye on ____. They're going to shine maybe a little bit more than in the beginning of the season."

Good question! I would say keep your eye on Kendra. I think character really starts to come into her own. She learns how to be a more formidable fighter, and certainly there's the relationship with Ray. But there's also, she'll begin to have additional memories of Carter, so that'll be probably the most interesting love triangle that no other show could do.

We know DC's Wild West gunslinger Jonah Hex is coming! Tell me a little bit about what we're going to see in the show's take on him.

I think you're going to see a Jonah that's incredibly faithful to the comic book, with maybe the exception being he's got a little bit more sass than his comic book incarnation.

And Johnathon Schaech is amazing. Really. Like, he brings a level of malevolence to Jonah. He makes you scared of Jonah, in a really cool way. Despite that sass, you don't want to piss him off. I just think that edge, that danger, is just an enormous amount of fun, and very appropriate for the character.

From the comics, and maybe not in the planning stages for the show just yet, tell me some of the places and time periods from the DC Universe that you get excited about when you think about adapting for TV?

Oh, it's a good question. I would say, it's tricky because there's certain elements of the DC Universe that are sort of closed to us at the moment. But, you know, you never say never, and all things are possible. I would say, what's really exciting is we're going to go to the future, and we're going to go to the future more than once. So we're going to see different versions of the future, different time periods, and that's pretty cool. You'll also get a chance to meet Per Degaton, who we name-checked in the pilot, but it's fun to get a chance to see him.

A trip to the 30th Century, maybe?

Not necessarily that far in the future, but a fun nod to people who know the character.

And the wackiest DC character that you'd love to figure out how to do something with?

You know what? It's funny. I actually have been thinking a lot lately about the Creeper... It would be really hard to pull of correctly, but if we could, would really be a great addition to, or would fit very well in the "Legends" world.

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Peter Dinklage Gets Naked and Afraid of Leslie Jones on 'Saturday Night Live'

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Peter Dinklage took it all off -- then put on some space pants and sang -- in his first "Saturday Night Live" hosting gig. It wasn't exactly a classic show, but the "Game of Thrones" star really went for it, especially in two sketches: "Naked & Afraid: Celebrity Edition," with Dinklage and Leslie Jones playing themselves, and the "Mafia Meeting" sketch, which is only worth watching for Dinklage and musical guest Gwen Stefani singing and dancing about space pants.

Here's a horny Leslie Jones, spooning hard with Dinklage (and clasping his "warmest part"...) in "Naked & Afraid: Celebrity Edition":

And here's Dinklage's amazing "space pants" song and dance:
Because he's a GoT star, there was inevitably a "Game of Thrones" sketch, but unfortunately the dragon "sneak peek" wasn't as strong as it should've been:
The actor also had a GoT-themed monologue but it was mostly about Bobby Moynihan as author George R.R. Martin, and didn't really use Dinklage enough:
Russell Crowe is the next SNL host, on April 9, with Margo Price as musical guest. "Game of Thrones" Season 6 premieres April 24.

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The Internet Is Seriously Pissed Off About 'The Walking Dead' Season 6 Finale

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Is it time to riot? "The Walking Dead" producers tried to use "Talking Dead" to sell the Season 6 finale to the audience -- comparing the cliffhanger to the "Lost" hatch and such -- but the Internet was not buying. The Internet wanted a head to roll, and they wanted to SEE the head, dammit, not spend 90 minutes waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, and waiting -- watching what seemed like a thousand commercials -- only to have the show end right at the climactic moment, not showing us which cast member was killed by Negan.

That was the whole build-up to the finale, fans thought -- especially fans of Robert Kirkman's comic book -- and as usual the finale was teased to high heaven by the cast for the emotional weight and trauma. And yet, we won't even see what happened until October, when the momentum will be gone and -- let's be honest -- someone out there will already have spoiled who dies.

Knee-jerk reactions are always strong, and at this point some fans are calling this the worst finale ever. However, "Last Day on Earth" does have defenders, with those fans arguing that the cliffhanger makes the speculation more fun, or that TWD is not the only show to have a cliffhanger and fans should grow up and stop being so butthurt. But viewers have invested so much in this show, and they have a right to feel whatever they feel.
Here are a few of the responses out there:

On AMC's Facebook page:

Neil Kelkar You have GOT to be kidding me. Are you serious? So much hype built up for the season finale equivalent of issue 100 and you ruin it with a cliffhanger. I am so outraged right now. The whole point of issue 100 is a gruesome death and we FIND OUT WHO DIES. Cheap TV sales trick. Honestly this is terrible because by the time season 7 comes, no one will be that affected by who died as much as they could have if they SHOWED who died. Sigh..

Chad Elliott Horrible season finale!! Terribly written and honestly I couldn't care less when the next season begins. This episode was made for advertisement dollars only and in no way for the viewers or the art of creativity!

Tony Spratt
We waited an hour and a half to get no answers. Not cool Walking Dead.

Tracey Anderson Walking Dead was just horrible....drive around for an hour and half, everyone is captured and then NOTHING! Someone gets their head smashed in - but we won't find out until next season??This is why the show is losing fans! Completely disappointed!

Matthew Reynolds Waited a hour and a half in which was 30 min of driving around, 30 min of commercial 20 min of Carol running from reality, and 10 min of intense build up of tension and 30 seconds of being pissed off not knowing who dies so they can get you to continue watching on October. Very disappointing for the hype.

Michelle Gordon Minor So disgusted with the finale. Half commercials. Half long winded speeches meant to build suspense that simply irritated. I think walking dead May henceforth be consigned to Netflix


On Twitter:



Do you think any of the fans who say they're done with TWD really won't watch the Season 7 premiere to see what happens? Some fans said they envy viewers who'll watch TWD for the first time in a binge on DVD or Netflix, since the Season 7 premiere will just be the very next episode, instead of a six-month wait.

How did you feel about the Season 6 finale?

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11 Times Hayley Atwell Made Us Laugh So Hard We Cried

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Hayley Atwell is best known for kicking a** on "Marvel's Agent Carter," but it's her behind-the-scenes antics that really make us love her. She's always making us laugh -- and for that, we are so very thankful.

These are the 11 times Hayley Atwell filled us with laughter.

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Kit Harington Takes Shocking Lie Detector Test About Jon Snow's Death

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Kit Harington Portrait SessionNo one could possibly be looking forward to "Game of Thrones" Season 6 more than Kit Harington so he can stop answering everyone's constant bloody questions about Jon Snow. Is he dead? Is he really dead? But how dead is he? Is he staying dead? Fans basically stalked Harington through filming for the new season, even more than usual, and pointed out when they saw him on set as evidence that Jon Snow is maybe not SO dead.

Season 6 is starting on April 24, and the cast members, including Harington, are in promotion mode. Harington was just on "The Jonathan Ross Show" and he was asked/forced to do a lie detector test to answer questions on Jon Snow. It wasn't your typical test, though: Harington had to put his arm in the "Stone of Truth" and if Ross didn't like Harington's answer he got an electric shock.

The only acceptable answers were "yes," "no," or "I know nothing."

Here's the conversation:

Here's a mini transcript:

Jonathan Ross: "Are you dead?"

Kit Harington: "Yes." At that point, we hear a buzzing. "It actually gives me a shock!" He said on a scale of 1-10 the shock was a 5, so Ross turned it up and asked the same question. It was still "yes."

Ross: "Can I see your dead face please?"

Harington does his stone face, dead Jon Snow expression.

Ross: "Is there any nudity in the next series?"

Harington: "I know nothing."

Ross: "Are you playing a dead body in the next series."

Harington: "Yes."

Ross: "Do you become a white walker?"

Harington: "No."

Ross: "Do you come back as [couldn't make out the name, someone famous in England, maybe]?"

Harington and the audience laugh. "No."



But he didn't say he wouldn't come back as something other than a dead body. Either way we will see him when HBO premieres "Game of Thrones" Season 6 on Sunday, April 24.

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Watch Chris Hemsworth Recite Rihanna's 'Work' and Tell a Dirty Thor Joke

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"There's Nothing Like Australia" Campaign LaunchIt's Monday and you may be tired and uninspired, so here's Chris Hemsworth with an earnest reading of Rihanna's song "Work" to help you get through your own work work work work work week. When you are on a break, maybe watch another video of Hemsworth, this time telling a slightly naughty Thor joke. (It's not quite NSFW but more PG-13 than PG.)

While out promoting "The Huntsman: Winter's War," Hemsworth stopped by BBC Radio 1, so they put him to work reading "Work," and offered YouTube a black-and-white video of the event. The actor doesn't start laughing until the end, which is impressive, and he and the host were both left inspired to go back to work. Which was the point of the song, maybe? Probably not.

Watch Hemsworth get to work work work work work:


Because one can never watch too many clips of Chris Hemsworth being charming, here's one where he tells Graham Norton that fans like to come up to him and tell him Thor jokes, specifically the same Thor joke:

Love it. In case you can't watch the video for some reason, here's the joke: "Thor spends a night with this woman and the next morning he says, 'I have to tell you who I am.' 'I'm Thor.' She says, 'You're Thor? I can hardly walk." Ba-dum-dum!

He's here all week, everyone! Actually, he won't be back as Thor until "Thor: Ragnarok" is released in November 2017.

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Unforgettable Teen Movie Hotties, Ranked From Worst to Best

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What's a classic teen movie without a leading man that we're all supposed to drool over?

History has proven that the majority of these dudes are devastatingly handsome, but that doesn't mean they're more than their perfectly planned haircuts. Hey, they could even be a serial killer psychopath or (perhaps worse) wear an oversized leather cuff every single day. Deal breakers alert.

There are many teen movie babes from the '90s/early 2000s second golden age of the beloved genre, so we've decided to look back at a few memorable ones and pick favorites. Note: Their positions are based on personality, heart, style, and general boyfriend material-ness. This is not a beauty contest, people. Here, we've ranked ten teen movie dreamboats from whatevs to all that...AND a bag of chips. Duh.

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'The Walking Dead' Season 6 Finale Recap: Negan at the Bat

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the walking dead, walking dead, season 6, season finale, season 6 finale, TWD, 616, recapI didn't think it would be possible for "The Walking Dead" to one-up itself on the stupidity front after the disastrous Glenn death fakeout last fall. And then came the season six finale, here to proudly prove me wrong.

As has been teased all season, this week finally featured the introduction of Negan, a villain that fans of the "Walking Dead" comics know well – and apparently love, for some reason, even though he steals from and murders lots of people? Sure. Unfortunately, I have never read those comics, and thus came upon my limited knowledge of Negan thanks to some unfortunate internet spoilers and the few clues that were sprinkled throughout this season. Was I excited for his arrival? No. Was I surprised by anything he did or said tonight? No. Did I find him "charming," a word that's been inexplicably tossed around to describe him? Nope. Not even close.

I suppose this is where my ignorance of the source material puts me at a disadvantage, but I'd argue that that's more the fault of the show than it is mine. The series has distinguished itself from the comics since its inception, dramatically altering the trajectories of several major characters, and condensing and cutting people and events to fit the showrunners' vision. I had believed up until now that my unfamiliarity with the comics didn't matter, that I could enjoy the show on its own merits and as its own entity without that background knowledge. But after this snoozefest of a season finale, and what I found to be a wholly stupid introduction of an allegedly awesome character, I think it's safe to say that my needs as an independent viewer matter less than those of the existing readership.

Outside of the television critics I follow on Twitter (here's a sample reaction that sums up the critical consensus), I realize that mine will probably be an unpopular opinion. From what I've gathered so far based on the (limited) online reaction I've seen from fans, Negan was a hit, despite the fact that we never did get to see exactly who he hit. Problems with that specific cliffhanger aside (and make no mistake, it was a laughably awful and unnecessary one – as if diehard "Walking Dead" viewers needed incentive to tune in for another season), reaction has been kind to Jeffrey Dean Morgan's performance. He lost me, however, as soon as he uttered the phrase "pee-pee pants city."

Yes, the so-called greatest villain in "Walking Dead" history used those exact words to attempt to strike fear into our survivors' (and viewers' hearts), and all I could think was, "Are you sure you're a grown man?" That line comes straight from the comics, so, okay, points for accuracy, I guess? But again, as I said above, the show has deviated from those works before. I think it would have been wise to do so here.

Because no matter who wound up on the other end of that bat – and again, to remind you, producers decided to call cut before revealing anything, a monumentally stupid decision to cap a season teeming with them – I just can't bring myself to find the Saviors' behavior threatening at all. The shot of them standing in a circle, dozens strong, surrounding our survivors and menacingly wielding weapons, was initially chilling; then Big Forehead Guy opened his mouth, and I lost all interest. You can tell these characters are based on those found on the pages of a comic, because they're so two-dimensionall they're cartoonish to the point of being hilarious, and most definitely not in a good way. I'm not sure why or how Negan choosing his first victim via the "eeny meeny miny moe" system was supposed to be threatening (perhaps on an ironic level?), but that cringe-inducing juxtaposition failed spectacularly on every level.

But, okay, I told myself. We're finally going to find out who winds up on the other end of that bat, right? That devastating reveal is going to make all of this worth it. Silly me. I actually believed, in my heart of hearts, that after a season of fakeouts and foreshadowing and frustration, that surely there would at least be some resolution to this specific plot point. And then, naturally, we faded to black. Again.

So that's where we leave this season, with a bloated mess of an episode with no momentum (thanks, endless commercial breaks!), no real stakes (oh, there's an outside threat trying to take down our core group? Shocking!), and no real answers (but hey, tune in next week to "Fear The Walking Dead"!). The only thing about that cliffhanger that was surprising was that its employment was surprising at all, but then again, there was really no other way for this mess of a season to end. The writers have enjoyed jerking viewers around for the past 15 episodes; what's another six months?

Other thoughts:

- So yeah, trying to figure out that cliffhanger is impossible, because it could literally be anyone. But let's try anyway, shall we?

* If you'll allow me a quick SPOILER from the comics (and if you'd prefer to remain in the dark, please proceed to the next bullet point), I'd guess that we can write off Glenn – the person who gets Lucille'd on the page – as the target, after the aforementioned dumpster dive fakeout. (Then again, the showrunners may try to claim that that whole debacle was a big bit of foreshadowing, so what do I know?)

* Killing Maggie would just be cruel, since she's pregnant and also suffering from some sort of serious medical emergency (the details of which we may never know, since the group's efforts to get her to the Hilltop OBGYN were thwarted at every turn).

* Daryl would be a logical pick, since he could stand in for Glenn as one of the original Atlanta survivors to take the fall. But we all know that fans would riot if he goes, and Daryl has some unfinished business with Dwight, too, that would be greatly undermined if he were the victim here. (Plus, Norman Reedus has already shot his motorcycle adventure series – coming soon to AMC, in case you missed that specific commercial break – so it's not like he would need to leave for that.)

* If anyone may get killed off to accommodate the actor's other projects, it's Michonne, since Danai Gurira has been extremely busy lately with a burgeoning stage and film career. (And Michonne's death would drive Rick mad, propelling his quest for revenge.)

* If we're going with what the show has deliberately set up, then either Abe or Eugene would be next in line, since both have had some big character moments this season, thus pegging them for doom. Abe declared his love for Sasha, and tonight told her he wanted to have kids with her. And Eugene has been slowly asserting himself as a capable survivor, learning how to fight off zombies and coming up with the plan to manufacture more bullets. He and Abe have also repaired their rocky relationship, sharing a sweet embrace as Eugene bravely volunteered to drive off in the RV as a distraction to draw away the Saviors. They're both marked men as far as I'm concerned, so naturally, I'll be proven totally wrong.

* Given Rick's recent penchant for spouting one-liners that wouldn't be out of place in "Chicken Soup for the Soul" (and his romance with Michonne), he'd seem like an easy target, too. But I just don't think the showrunners have the stones to kill off their main character – at least not yet, anyway. Give it time. That'll probably be the season seven finale cliffhanger.

- Morgan continues his search for Carol, and almost immediately finds her, huddled on the stoop of an abandoned library and badly wounded. Morgan patches her up, and wants to take her back to Alexandria for some antibiotics; Carol refuses, repeating her mantra about not wanting to be around people she cares about, because then she'd have to kill for them. She then pulls a gun on Morgan to make him back off, which makes tons of sense based on her just-delivered anti-killing monologue. Morgan, standing in for exasperated viewers, points out that she's already killed after she swore not to, so, c'mon already, just come home. But no, Carol refuses and bolts.


- Carol eventually finds herself staring down the barrel of Black Boot Guy's gun. He metes out his bullets, shooting her several times slowly and relishing in her agony as she writhes in pain. But it's Morgan to the rescue again, wielding a gun of his own and pleading with the Savior to let her go. Just as Black Boot Guy aims to kill Carol, Morgan finally rediscovers his backbone and shoots the hell out of him, emptying his weapon into the Savior. I'm sure season seven will dwell far too long on The Ramifications of This Life-Changing Decision, but it was satisfying to see Morgan finally snap out of his annoying zen trance.

- As Morgan stands over Carol's bleeding body, Mysterious Armored Guy – the one who was looking for his horse last week – approaches, and he's got a friend, also clad in armor and riding a horse. (They're his knights in shining armor, in case you didn't get that metaphor.) Morgan tells them he needs help, and the man immediately reaches out and shakes Morgan's hand, pledging his support. It's refreshing to see the introduction of a non-nefarious stranger, and the fact that this is such an odd occurrence speaks volumes about how bleak this show has become.

- I'm not sure why the Saviors were convinced that the guy they chased down at the beginning of the episode was from Alexandria, and I also don't understand why Negan didn't mention it when he had Rick on his knees. It just seems like an odd mistake for the group to make, and then to completely ignore it later in the episode (surely Negan could have thrown in a reference to "your friend who we dangled off the bridge" in his never-ending monologue?) also seemed off. But then again, the showrunners needed to fill 93 minutes' worth of airtime; why not waste some of it on a pointless mix-up?

- Yet another quibble I have with the Saviors: That freaking whistling. I get that it's a signal, but when they already had Rick's group surrounded, what on earth was the point of letting it echo for so long? As I said last week, it felt very much like a "Hunger Games" rip-off. The ridiculousness of that similarity did not diminish tonight.

- And another thing: So. Many. Roadblocks. I know I joked that these people were the kings of this particular surprise tactic, but seriously. The endless roadblocks, followed immediately by an ill-timed commercial break, became kind of hilarious after a while.

- I will concede, however, that there was one bit of villainy that I did actually find appropriately evil: The moment when Rick and co. realized that the zombies that were chained across the road were dressed like their friends, with one of them sporting Michonne's leather vest (and a couple of her dreads), and another pierced with some of Daryl's arrows. That's a pretty twisted bit of taunting, so well-played on that front, Saviors.

- Rick leaves Father Gabriel in charge in Alexandria, fulfilling my prophecy from a couple weeks ago. He's there with Spencer, who asks Rick if maybe they should just try to strike a deal with the Saviors, should the villains come knocking. Rick gives Spencer his best "bitch, please" face, though he's a lot more diplomatic in his verbal response to that ridiculous suggestion, quickly shooting him down.

- I've avoided it as long as I could, but I guess I should address more of the specifics of what went down with Negan. We discover that he's taken Eugene prisoner, and Negan then forces Rick, Carl, Abe, Sasha, Aaron, and Maggie (who he made get off her stretcher – kind of a d—k move, even for this guy) onto their knees. He proceeds to trot out Daryl, Michonne, Glenn, and Rosita, and places them into a row with everyone else. Then, the endless monologue begins, where he explains the Saviors' raison d'être (take half of everything other communities have, and if they can't supply it, force them to steal it on the Saviors' behalf; kill at least one community member right at the beginning, to prove their menacing mettle). He dubs the Alexandrians' strike on the Savior compound "not cool," declaring, "You don't mess with the new world order." "You thought you were safe," he sneers, directing his comments to Rick. "But the world's not. ... Sucks, don't it – the moment you realize you don't know s—t." Negan repeats the stupid whistling trick, finishes his endless "eeny meeny" rhyme (god, that went on forever), and chooses his victim. We hear the crack of Lucille-on-skull, see blood splash onto the camera lens, and then everything goes dark.

- That final shot may wind up being the very last one I watch on this show. I realize it's clichéd to threaten to quit a TV series after an unfortunate episode, but my antipathy has been brewing all season – and tonight's events may have pushed me over the edge. I don't know if I can bring myself to watch an entire season of Negan's preening, to breathlessly wait for the next brutal baseball bat beating, to watch characters like Carol completely abandon their personalities, and wallow in the despair that the Saviors promise. "The Walking Dead" has made it abundantly clear that it can do without viewers like me; maybe I should finally take the hint.

Photo credit: Gene Page/AMC

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