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'Game of Thrones' Recap: 'No One' Chooses Revenge for Arya and the Hound

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A Girl is disappointed that the Waif Club theory did not pan out in "Game of Thrones" Season 6, Episode 8, "No One." However, this Girl is very glad Arya Stark is finally done trying to be No One, and now on her way back home. Westeros needs 00Stark's particular set of skills in the wars to come. Farewell, it seems, Jaqen H'ghar. You had terrible taste in assistants and assassination targets. But bye.

"No One" was an hour filled with revenge, betrayal, and Cersei Lannister's mic drop line, "I choose violence" -- which had the unfortunate timing to air on the same day as the most deadly attack in the U.S. since 9/11. Fantasy violence = badass. Real violence = just bad.

In the end...

The Hound got revenge against the rogue members of the Brotherhood Without Banners for the events of Episode 7, and maybe he's going north to fight the White Walkers with Beric Dondarrion (and LS)?;
• Arya was helped by Lady Crane (who was then killed by the Waif) and got her revenge by killing Terminator Waif (Arya's wounds healed a bit too fast, just saying), and now she's on her way home to Winterfell;
• The Faith's Puppet in Chief, King Tommen, outlawed trial by combat (What about #CleganeBowl, you monster?!) but Cersei and Qyburn may have a backup plan;
Jaime Lannister reunited with Brienne (Jaime, Tormund, Bronn -- she should be the Bachelorette with all of the guys who would f--k her);
• Jaime also took over Riverrun with the release of the Tully's own Tommen, Edmure Tully;
• Shockingly, slave masters can't actually be trusted in Meereen, but thankfully, Mhysa is back in town, with dragons, just in time for a massive siege;
• Speaking of sieges, Brynden Tully appears to be the new No One. The Blackfish, like Tyrion, was betrayed. The Blackfish was said to have "died fighting." Did he? If we don't see it happen, did it happen? Would they really just let this legend die off-screen? Eh.

It's hard to now how many of those storylines we'll be following next week in the "Battle of the Bastards." The Episode 9 promo (see below) just showed the epic Stark vs. Bolton showdown.

GET.
FOOKIN.
HYPE.


Read on for a recap of Episode 8:


THE MAP: No cold open this time. (They should do them more often, even if they don't have surprise returns.) This week, the map takes us to King's Landing, Winterfell, The Wall, Braavos, Meereen.

ARYA IN BRAAVOS
The episode starts with Lady Crane's stage scene as Cersei, with Joffrey's death. Foreshadowing to say she'll see him again in heaven, but first she seeks vengeance. Love that she's playing Cersei, who vows revenge against Sansa Stark, but she turns around and helps Sansa's sister in real life. Backstage, LC sees Arya behind the wardrobe. She's bleeding (for real, not fake, and it's not really Jaqen or the Waif) and LC helps patch her up. OK, but those wounds seemed serious and it's not like the Waif wouldn't know how to inflict lethal wounds. Honestly, this is the most pedestrian of the Arya survive options. D&D should go with fan theories next time. LC took her own revenge on Bianca, who wanted her killed. LC wants Arya to come with them to Pentos and replace Bianca as an actress, but Arya says they wouldn't be safe. What's West of Westeros? The edge of the world? Arya would like to see that. LC gives Arya milk of the poppy but Arya doesn't want to sleep. Still, she takes it. Is she too trusting?

Later, LC tends to Arya as she wakes up. But the Waif always finds Arya in the end. Lady Crane is killed. The Waif tells Arya if she had done her job, LC would've died painlessly. The Many-Faced God was given a name. He must take what is his. And now he's been promised another name. She can't change that. No One can. And No One does! Arya goes on the run, and we have a shaky-cam chase through the streets of Braavos. Has any good ever come from a trip to Braavos? Just saying. It's not a place to revisit. Arya has a fruit fall on the steps of Braavos and the Waif stares her down. Anyone else getting "Battleship Potemkin" vibes? This is very well shot, this sequence, even if it's a bit far-fetched. The Waif deserves what she gets -- Arya knifing a candle so they fight in the dark, which is the formerly blind Arya's specialty at this point.

At the end of the episode, Arya revists the House of Black and White, trailing blood, to add the Waif's face to the wall. She points her sword at Jaqen, who apparently had no idea what was up. So the Waif always knew what Arya was doing but Jaqen had no clue? Jaqen says finally a girl is No One, but she says "A girl is Arya Stark of Winterfell, and I'm going home." Finally! Took long enough. She leaves him alive. He needs a new apprentice now. Where's Gendry? Maybe he can row over to Braavos.

THE HOUND + THE BROTHERHOOD
We visit with the group of Brotherhood guys who killed the Hound's group. For whatever reason, they are giving kissing and butthole jamming lessons in the woods. The Hound approaches with his axe and just goes to town, brutally slaying. He chose violence, too. Cersei would approve. Love the last words exchange. "You're sh-t at dying."

Later, we see Lord Beric Dondarrion (Jon Snow-ed six times, if you recall), whom we haven't seen since Season 3. Apparently Beric was also after those Brotherhood guys, who were former men of his who disgraced the Brotherhood name. Thoros of Myrs stops the Hound from axe-ing them, he says they hang them. It turns into a how-to-kill debate. They hang. Clegane gets new boots, so that's a win. He also asks the Brotherhood for something to eat. "I prefer chicken." YAS. Like Arya, his female counterpart, he is asked to join them and turns them down. Lots of horrible sh-t in this world gets done for something larger than ourselves. The Hound has the best lines. But Beric says cold winds are rising in the North. He knows about the White Walkers? The Lord of Light gave the Hound the power to defeat him, why? The Hound is a fighter. He was born a fighter. The things they are fighting will destroy young and old. The Hound seems to think about it, so maybe it's a soft no for now, with the potential to be yes.

MEEREEN
We walk with Tyrion and Varys in Meereen, and watch another priestess speaking to a crowd. Varys is going on a secret expedition, and Tyrion ("the most famous dwarf in the world") will miss him. Varys: "We need friends in Westeros, and we need ships." Tyrion says they need their queen most of all. So now Tyrion is on his own, apart from Grey Worm and Missandei.

Later, Tyrion seems a bit cocky and overconfident, while Grey Worm and Missandei aren't so sure. They don't want to drink with him. They want Daenerys Targaryen back. Tyrion wants his own wine, The Imp's Delight. (SELL IT TO US NOW) Tyrion starts telling a Stark joke, which feels like foreshadowing. Whenever they have light moments like this, you know something awful is about to happen. After some more light banter, the bells ring. Ships approach. The masters have come for their property, Missandei sees.

We see the siege on Meereen and Tyrion admits he was wrong. He asks Grey Worm what the army should do. GW says to stay there and wait for the masters to come for them. Then they will fight. Yikes. It's a scary plan and they here a noise. Mom's home! Dany just strolls in, and we hear what sounds like Drogon behind her.

KING'S LANDING
Qyburn tells Cersei members of the Faith Militant have been allowed into the Red Keep. Tommen let them in, of course. Cersei tries to walk somewhere -- to see Tommen? -- but Lancel and other Sparrows stop her. He says the High Sparrow wants to see her/COMMANDS her to see him, and she refuses. The Mountain steps forward. Lancel says "Move aside, ser," which is kind of hilarious. "Order your man to step aside or there will be violence." Cersei: "I choose violence." She doesn't say it with joy or anything, though. She's simply resolved. The Mountain rips apart one of the Sparrows and Lancel looks nervous. It's so strange to be rooting for the Mountain and Cersei at this point. But she scored a point this week.

Later, Cersei makes her way to the throne room and is stopped by Kevan Lannister. There is to be a royal announcement in the throne room, and Cersei is just being informed. Why is Kevan appearing to side with the Faith instead of wanting House Lannister to reclaim its power? He knows Tommen is a puppet. Tommen makes his speech about the Faith and the crown being the two pillars who hold up this world. The High Sparrow decided on trial dates for Cersei and Ser Loras. Also, Tommen said "from this day forward, trial by combat will be forbidden" across the Seven Kingdoms. So that's the High Sparrow's chess move against Cersei and the Mountain. Dammit, Tommen. Qyburn approaches Cersei about that little rumor. His little birds investigated. And it was more than a rumor. Much more. Wildfire?

RIVERRUN
Brienne and Pod have a sassy little moment at the start of the sequence, then when men show up she tells them she has Jaime Lannister's sword. Bronn gets Podrick F--king Payne in a headlock and they banter. Bronn asks if Jaime and Brienne are f--king. He'd f--k her. So now we can add him to the list, with Tormund and Jaime. Bronn and Pod had a nice little scene (not so nice for Pod) but Bronn is still best with Tyrion.

Meanwhile, inside the tent, Brienne surprises Jaime by saying Sansa is actually alive and Brienne is working for her to get Riverrun's army to battle the Boltons. That's not quite what Jaime wants, since he's currently battling Riverrun. Brienne says to take Riverrun without bloodshed, allow her into Riverun under truce to talk to the Blackfish and get him to move Tully forces north. Jaime doesn't think it will work with the Blackfish, but his men might go north. Jaime gives Brienne his word that he'll allow them safe passage north. Brienne also gives Jaime back his sword. He gave it to her for a purpose and she achieved it. He said it's hers and will always be hers. Aww. Good. We need more Valyrian steel, especially steel made from Ice, to take on the Boltons. Jaime and Brienne part as friends (with some eye f--king, maybe?) but she tells him if it comes to it, she may have to fight him, since she's Team Stark.
As expected, the Blackfish turns down the offer to "abandon" his family seat at Riverrun and go north. Brienne shares Sansa's note with the Blackfish, who says "she's exactly like her mother." Sansa wants her home back, but this is the Blackfish's home, and if Jaime wants it, he can take it the way everyone else does. So Brienne's mission failed, at least in terms of getting the Blackfish's support.

Later, Jaime visits poor Lord Edmure, who is still tied up. Edmure knows the Blackfish will never surrender the castle. Jaime knows a good death is all the Blackfish can hope for, but Edmure has more of a future ... even if he hasn't seen his wife since the Red Wedding. (A bad beginning if ever there was one.) It's good to hear Edmure get to talk, and he reminds Jaime ("an evil man" but a "fine looking fellow") that the Lannisters massacred his family. Jaime reminds him this is not a negotiation. Edmure wants to know how Jaime lives with himself. How does he tell himself he's decent after everything he's done? He talks about Catelyn. Edmure wishes she had killed Jaime. Jaime admired Catelyn. He was awed by her love for her children. It reminded him of his sister. Is this talk of Catelyn foreshadowing LS, or is that out of the question now? The things we do for love, Jaime, says, like he did in the first episode. Bran. "I love Cersei. You can laugh at that if you want, you can sneer. She needs me. To get back to her I have to take Riverrun." He'll take Edmure's son and launch him into Riverrun in a catapult, he'll slaughter every Tully who ever lived to get back to Cersei. Because he loves her. That's how he lives with what he does. That's awful and creepy, but still beautiful and romantic. And it works?

Edmure goes to the gate and demands entry, as the Lord of Riverrun. Blackfish refuses to surrender and tries to block the men from letting Edmure in. He knows Edmure is just doing Jaime's bidding. But the Blackfish is not lord of the castle, so the Blackfish loses. Sorry, man. Black Walder tells Jaime, if he's wrong, he just surrendered their most valuable prisoner. But he's not wrong. Edmure commands the men to lay down their arms, open the gates, and leave Riverrun to the Lannister/Freys. Edmure commands the Blackfish be put in irons and handed over to the Freys. Betrayal! The Blackfish helps Brienne and Pod leave but he refuses to leave Riverrun. He tells Brienne she'll serve Sansa far better than he ever could. He plans to stay and fight. "I haven't had a proper sword fight in years. I expect I'll make a damn fool of myself." Jaime is told the Blackfish died, but we don't see it. We do see Jaime and Brienne waving goodbye to each other as she rows away. Who should get her final rose -- Jaime or Tormund? Or Pod as the dark horse?

NEXT WEEK
YAAAAAAASSSSSSS. Episode 9, always known to be a BAMF of an episode, is called "Battle of the Bastards" and you know what that means. Yas! The epic Ramsay vs Jon fight is coming Sunday, June 19. If someone gets to kill Ramsay it should be Sansa, though, not Jon. But please show him no mercy, he has earned none.

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Upcoming TV Shows That (May Have Been) Inspired by 'Game of Thrones'

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Photo from FOX's 'Son of Zorn' (2016)"Game of Thrones" is like that high school kid whose punk-rock band won the talent show, but also played Dungeons & Dragons on the weekends -- it may have a nerdy heart, but it's wrapped up in layers of sex, gore, and rock n' roll. Its epic fantasy core is also wrapped up in transcendent performances, political intrigue, betrayal, and the possibility of key characters kicking the bucket at any moment. You can thank George R.R. Martin's no-holds-barred storytelling for that.

And just as your high-school hero inspired others to break out their punk-rock regalia, "Thrones" wildly popular formula has inspired legions of loving imitators who hope to catch some of that scorching hot Drogon fire. Lucky for you, networks across the board are willing to scratch your "Thrones" itch in 2016 and onward.

'His Dark Materials' (BBC)

A critically acclaimed network aims to adapt a series of epic fantasy novels from the 1990s. No, it's not an upcoming doc about the creation of HBO's "Game of Thrones," it's real news about the BBC's upcoming TV adaptation of Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" trilogy. Hollywood took a not-so-successful swing at Pullman's work with 2007's "The Golden Compass," but BAFTA-nominated scribe Jack Thorne -- the pen behind the skinhead drama "This Is England" -- is sure to inject the series with darker sensibilities. And while the books' fantasy world is a Victorian-flavored multiverse of zeppelins and religious ponderings rather than a bloody medieval drama, it still packs your recommended servings of warring families, royal corruption, and "accidental" deaths. Plus, it's really hard to mess up when you're dealing with armored polar bears.

'Still Star-Crossed' (ABC)

Think about it. "Romeo and Juliet" -- with its lust, familial blood feuds, sword fights, and dramatic deaths -- is the 1590s version of "Game of Thrones" but with a whole lot fewer Tyrion-themed cocktails.

Those are the things ABC is banking on when it rolls out "Still Star-Crossed" as part of its 2016-2017 lineup. This "Romeo and Juliet" followup -- which picks up after the double suicide to focus on the warring Montagues and Capulets -- has all the treachery and blood-soaked romance of "Thrones." It's from Shonda Rhimes, who brought you "Grey's Anatomy" and "Scandal," so it's okay to start getting excited.

'Emerald City' (NBC)

Time to get this out of the way: "Emerald City" is "Game of Thrones" meets "The Wizard of Oz." You can't deny the familiarity of NBC's pitch for its upcoming hour-long drama: "A mystical land of competing realms, lethal warriors, dark magic, and a bloody battle for supremacy," says the network, in a line that sounds like it came from an "A Song of Ice and Fire" book jacket. They're not messing around, either -- the show has locked down Vincent D'Onofrio as the Wizard, which means pretty much anyone who watched "Daredevil" will tune in, no questions asked.

'Son of Zorn' (FOX)

This is where the "may have been" in the title really comes into play. "Game of Thrones" has big, beefy, barbaric men with swords. "Son of Zorn" has a big, beefy, barbaric man with a sword. The thing is, the men of "Thrones" go about uniting the factions of the North and lopping off essential body parts, while the titular Zorn just wants to be good at his office job and make things right with his estranged teenage son.

The animated, Jason Sudekis-voiced Zorn inhabits a live-action world with all the dryly awkward humor you'd expect from a Fox sitcom, and his fish-out-of-water shtick probably resembles He-Man more than The Hound. But you can't deny that HBO's medieval epic has made audiences a little more accepting of the fantasy genre in all its forms -- think of it as equal rights for shirtless dudes with long hair and magical weapons.

'The Legend of Zelda'

It's not often that the Wall Street Journal reports entertainment rumors, but that's exactly what happened in 2015 when the outlet claimed Nintendo's long-running "The Legend of Zelda" video game series was destined for a live-action TV series, allegedly in the planning stages at the time of the report. More than that, WSJ went right for the nose when it described the would-be series as "'Game of Thrones' for a family audience."

Nintendo itself has remained characteristically tight-lipped, but they can't hide the fact that 2016 is the 30th anniversary of the Zelda series, and the ideal year for a some major announcements. If they need someone to play Ganondorf, Sean Bean's "Game of Thrones" contract expired a few years ago.

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The Best Show Soundtracks

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Cast of FOX's 'The OC' (2003 - 2007)TV can be the best place to discover new music. You know the feeling -- watching your favorite show, that great on-screen couple is about to kiss for the first time, and the perfect song comes on. You're caught up in the moment, but the second the show cuts to commercial you look up that song. It might just become your song of the year, and if it's by a new band, you may have become a fan for life.

Whether you grew up watching "Happy Days," "The Wonder Years," "Gossip Girl," or "One Tree Hill," chances are you discovered some of your favorite bands by watching an episode. Sometimes, TV shows are the best place to discover bands before they go big, like when Snow Patrol's "Run" played for the first time on during the Season 1 finale of "One Tree Hill." The following shows not only have some of the best soundtracks around, they'll give you some nostalgic feels-hand-written mix-tape playlists.

'One Tree Hill' (2003 - 2012)

"One Tree Hill" defined teen angst for an entire generation of millennial youth, all set to the backdrop of music from bands like Snow Patrol, Jimmy Eat World, and the Wreckers. The show's young cast constantly found themselves in multiple love triangles, vying for top spots on basketball teams and cheerleading squads, all while trying to survive their teen years. The music to this coming-of-age CW show was killer. Some episodes even featured the soundtrack's artists on the show -- like Gavin DeGraw (who sings the show's theme song, "I Don't Want to Be"), Sheryl Crow, and Tyler Hilton. If you're feeling nostalgic for some poppy alt-rock music, the "One Tree Hill" soundtrack is just what the spin doctor ordered.

'Freaks and Geeks' (1999 - 2000)

Though this show only lasted one season, it helped launch the careers of James Franco, Seth Rogen, and Linda Cardellini. Set in a high school during the transitional period between the age of disco and the era of New Wave, the soundtrack to this show featured artists such as Queen, The Who, The Allman Brothers Band, and Van Halen. If you're longing for the days of bell bottoms, big hair, and bands whose solos last longer than most music videos of today, then the "Freaks and Geeks" soundtrack is for you.

'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' (1997 - 2003)

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer" launched the supernatural high school thriller. Buffy Summers and her troop of witches, werewolves, and misfits fought off the hordes of hell, all while surviving adolescence. Because the show took place in the late 1990s, it featured music like Garbage, Matthew Sweet, Toad the Wet Sprocket, and the Cult. The soundtrack to "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" is music you can sink your teeth into.

'The O.C.' (2003 - 2007)

"The O.C." is set in sunny laid-back Southern California. This series focuses on the clash of cultures between teen emo boy Ryan, his best friend Seth, and their crushes -- the daughters of the fictional Real Housewives of Orange County. The music to this show is relaxing and contemplative, and will give you major beach vibes. Some of the best bands and artists featured on the soundtrack are the mellow yet insightful Death Cab for Cutie, Imogen Heap, and Sufjan Stevens. If you live near a beach or find yourself longing for one, check out the numerous soundtracks to "The O.C."

'Nashville' (2012 - 2016)

"Nashville" centers on the emotional highs and lows of the country music business in Nashville. Connie Britton, Hayden Panettiere, and Chris Carmack play country stars and provide their own stellar vocals on the soundtrack. Their songs are powerful and heartfelt, and they truly capture the essence of Nashville's country music scene. The series also features a number of musical guests such as Christina Aguilera, Ke$ha, Steven Tyler, and Florida Georgia Line. So grab a beer, put on your boots, and get ready to line dance to this awesome soundtrack.

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Top TV Series Based on Real Life

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Orange Is the New Black Season One CastThe old adage tells us that truth is stranger than fiction, but it leaves out the most important part -- real life also makes for inventive, engaging, and oftentimes downright moving television.

While docudramas like National Geographic's "American Genius" or hyper-real period pieces like "Vikings" wear their real-life influences on their very austere sleeves, it's often the subtler slices of life that really get under the skin. Take a look at some TV that seems too good to be true, but is anyway.

'Orange Is the New Black' (2013 - )

It may come as a shock that the electrifying and oftentimes audacious behind-bars adventures of Piper, Alex, and company trace their roots back to a memoir. That's right: "Orange Is the New Black" is based on the aptly titled Orange Is the New Black: My Year in a Women's Prison by -- you guessed it -- the very real Piper Kerman , the model for Taylor Schilling's Piper Chapman.

So how close is OITNB to reality, you ask? Well, Kerman really did serve more than a year in prison for laundering drug money, but the fictional Piper's relationship with Alex Vause (in real life, Cleary Wolters) is largely exaggerated -- speaking to Vanity Fair, Wolters says the show's Piper-Alex sex scenes are "not even a little bit" true. But that doesn't mean we're going to stop crushing on Laura Prepon. You can't take that away from us, reality.

'The Goldbergs' (2013 - )

If sex, drugs, and shanking get a little too real for you, "The Goldbergs" might strike a sweeter, but equally loud, chord. An autobiographical sitcom created by real-life screenwriter Adam F. Goldberg ("Fanboys"), the show follows a group of budding young writers through their boisterous 1980s childhoods, complete with family dysfunction that's so over the top it can only be real.

In contrast to OITNB, Goldberg says "The Goldbergs" is actually a little toned down from the real deal. "My family is a lot cruder, a lot louder," he told Forward in 2015. But the '80s-tastic home videos that end each episode are real as can be; Dad really did drop trou every time he came home from work; Adam's mixtape from the season two opener "Love Is a Mixtape" is so real, you can listen to it whenever you want. Not that you'd want to.

'American Crime Story' (2016 - )

Now that "Making a Murderer" has run its course, what can possibly fill that true-crime-shaped hole in your heart? The answer is "American Crime Story." If you were alive in the '90s, we hardly need tell you that the first season's arc -- "The People v. O.J. Simpson" -- is based on a very real event, but with prettier people filling in for their living counterparts, like Cuba Gooding Jr. as O.J. and John Travolta as his defense lawyer, Robert Shapiro.

If season one didn't leave you sated, get ready for season two, which shifts the focus from courtroom drama to recent historical tragedy -- the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. And while a pop-cultural legal phenomenon and a tragic natural disaster may seem like disparate subjects, they have at least two things in common: They're both socially relevant examinations of American history, and the both make for damn fine television.

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