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Monday, May 11, 2015

Latest Movie News From Moviefone

Latest Movie News From Moviefone


9 Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About 'The Lion King'

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9 Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About The Lion King
Can you feel the love tonight? We can, for "The Lion King," because it's amazing. So say hakuna matata, heed your inner Zazu, and prepare yourself for these nine little-known facts about Disney's animated classic.

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The Latest 'Orange Is the New Black' Season 3 Trailer Is One Taystee Treat

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We have to wait just over a month until a fresh batch of "Orange Is the New Black" episodes are available for our streaming pleasures, but thankfully the folks over at Netflix unveiled a brand spankin' new official trailer for the show's highly-anticipated third season today to hold us over.

While the first promo gave us a big peak at what's in store for the ladies of Litchfield, this one catches us up to speed by also integrating footage from the show's first two seasons. And while the upbeat clip doesn't give away too much, it does focus on the lighter side of the series by showcasing some seemingly sunnier moments, including a perfect one-liner from Crazy Eyes regarding Santa Claus.

One moment even shows Piper quipping: "People think all we do is have lesbian sex and strip searches and have naked cat fights in the shower. We also do other things!" We can't wait to see all that and more when "Orange Is the New Black" Season 3 begins streaming on June 12. Let the countdown commence.

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'Bachelorette' Couples: Where Are They Now?

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Season 11 of "The Bachelorette" kicks off on ABC next Monday, and this time around we're getting two eligible ladies for the price of one. Yes, "Bachelor" Season 20 alums Britt and Kaitlyn will be facing off, as their suitors decide which of them will eventually get to hand out the final rose. Here's hoping that whoever gets chosen finds the reality TV happy ending they're looking for, even if the odds are against them. See for yourself. Before you tune in, take a look back at couples from "Bachelorette" past and find out where they are now.

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This Is Why You Really Need to Watch 'Black Mirror'

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jon hamm in black mirrorIt's somewhat safe to say that technology has in many ways taken over our lives. Depending on one's use of it, the various screens that we look at on a daily basis have the potential to influence what we read, what we see, what we watch and even what we know to be true. But at the end of the day, when you turn your phone or computer or television off, all you have is a black mirror starring back at you. And that, in an of itself, is incredibly dangerous.

At least, that's what Charlie Brooker seems to think. Brooker's genius U.K. series "Black Mirror" (available on Netflix) delves deep into the potential repercussions of a technology-reliant world through highly suspenseful, hour-long episodes.

The ideas presented in the series really run the gamut, from a political leader forced into a compromising position with an actual pig by an anonymous online threat, to a new service that allows people to reconnect with the dearly departed through the use of their loved one's social media back catalog. It may seem like I'm being vague in my descriptions, but it's necessary; to spoil the plot of a "Black Mirror" episode, with all of its winding twists and turns, is really a capital offense, worthy of a punishment like the one inflicted in the vicious season two episode "White Bear."

Much like a modern-day "Twilight Zone," each episode is independent of the others, with a rotating who's who cast of stars including Allen Leech of "Downton Abbey" and "The Imitation Game," "Agent Carter" star Hayley Atwell, and Domhnall Gleeson of "Ex Machina" and the upcoming "Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens." Even Don Draper himself, Jon Hamm, appears in the decidedly un-jolly Christmas special.

"Black Mirror" is certainly not for the faint of heart. Its plot twists often fall on the more disturbing side, leaving an unsettling feeling that doesn't quite go away when the episode ends. But perhaps that's necessary. Perhaps that feeling is what we need to stop ourselves from getting to the point where these technology-fueled stories seem like more than just a fun, fascinating, fictional tale. Regardless, "Black Mirror" is yet another excellent way to spend time staring at a screen. Trust me, you won't regret it.

Jenn Murphy is a journalism student at Columbia College Chicago and a contributor to Moviefone's Campus Beat. Are you a current college student with a love for all things movies and TV? Contribute to Campus Beat!

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7 Things That Need to Happen in 'Transformers 5'

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7 Things That Need To Happen In Transformers 5
A new "Transformers" movie means a new opportunity to give fans what they want -- from characters we saw in the '80s cartoon to plot twists in the comic books. Let's count down the 7 things that need to happen in "Transformers 5," according to Clevver Movies. What's on your list?

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The 'Pitch Perfect 2' Cast's Most Aca-Awkward Moments on Set

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Pitch Perfect 2 Cast's Most Aca-Awkward Moments on Set
Straight from the red carpet premiere in L.A., the stars of "Pitch Perfect 2" share their most aca-awkward moments while filming the highly anticipated sequel. Yes, gold lamé tear-away pants are involved. Also, there's impromptu singing, because you can't stop the music.

"Pitch Perfect 2" hits theaters Friday, May 15.

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What's New on Netflix, TV, Digital, and DVD/Blu-ray This Week: May 11 - May 17

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At a loss for what to watch this week? From new DVDs and Blu-rays, to what's streaming on Netflix, we've got you covered.

TV Worth Watching

"Mad Men" (Sunday on AMC at 10 p.m.)
It's the end of an era. Pour yourself an Old Fashioned and toast the end of "Mad Men," 'cause Don Draper leaves us on May 17. Farewell, Don/Dick, Peggy, Joan, Roger, and -- wherever she is -- Lois the foot-crushing secretary. #TeamLois4Life

"Scandal" (Thursday on ABC at 9 p.m.)
"Scandal" is so devoted to its own name that every episode feels like a season finale. But the real end of Season 4 happens May 14 with "You Can't Take Command." ABC promises it will be "shocking" and since it's "Scandal," we believe it.

"Saturday Night Live" (Saturday on NBC at 11:29 p.m.)
Louis C.K. will host the Season 40 finale with Rihanna as musical guest. We have high expectations for both stars, who definitely have the chops to put on a great show. Do not fail us, SNL.

New on DVD and Blu-ray

"Still Alice"
Julianne Moore just won the Academy Award for Best Actress as Dr. Alice Howard, a linguistics professor who faces the terrifying diagnosis of early-onset Alzheimer's. Kristen Stewart, Kate Bosworth and Alec Baldwin co-star. It's out just about everywhere (DVD, iTunes, Redbox, Netflix) on May 12.

"Blackhat"
Chris Hemsworth and Viola Davis star in Michael Mann's international cyberspace thriller. It was out on Digital HD and On Demand on May 5, but it's arriving on DVD May 12. That's still ahead of its Netflix and Redbox debut on June 9. Both DVD and Blu-ray include the bonus feature "The Cyber Threat," and Blu-ray also includes "On Location Around the World" and "Creating Reality."

"The Cobbler"
This is an Adam Sandler movie, which may tell you everything you need to know, but it's about a NYC shoe repairman who quietly envies the people around him. He discovers a family heirloom has the magical power to change his appearance and make him look like one of his customers, but transforming into other people comes with its own problems. It has a great cast, including Method Man, Ellen Barkin, Melonie Diaz, Dan "Downton Abbey" Stevens, and Steve Buscemi.

New on Netflix

"Fruitvale Station"
Michael B. Jordan stars in this critically acclaimed docudrama, which Netflix will release on May 12. We see the last day in Oscar Grant's (Jordan) life, when he's caught up in a tragic altercation with police. It's based on a true story and co-stars Octavia Spencer, Kevin Durand and Chad Michael Murray. Thought-provoking and another triumph for Jordan. Remember when he was Wallace on "The Wire"? Seems so long ago.

"The Universe"
A ton of new TV series collections are being made available on May 14, including "The Universe," "American Restoration," "Counting Cars," "Dance Moms," "Duck Dynasty," "Hoarders," and "Modern Marvels."

"Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast"
If you have a little princess in your life, "Tinker Bell" (Mae Whitman) is kind of a big deal. The sixth full-length movie in the series was released direct to video on March 3, but it's available on Netflix on May 17. Ginnifer Goodwin joins the usual cast as the new voice of Fawn.

New Video on Demand, Rental Streaming, and Digital Only

"Kingsman: The Secret Service" (iTunes)
The British action comedy, starring the always watchable Colin Firth, will be available on all major Digital HD platforms n May 15. However, if you get it on iTunes, you also get access to bonus features available on the upcoming Blu-ray, including a gallery of behind-the-scenes photos and a 90-minute documentary entitled "Kingsman: The Secret Service Revealed." So iTunes may just win this round.

"Focus" (M-GO)
New names are always arriving on the streaming scene, which is good for consumers, and one relative newbie is M-GO, a a digital VOD and joint venture between Technicolor and DreamWorks Animation. They have a few new titles arriving in the week of 5/11-5/17, including "Focus," "Seventh Son," and "Kingsman: The Secret Service." Will Smith and Margot Robbie, who will re-team in "Suicide Squad," star in "Focus," which has a Digital HD release on May 12, well before its Blu-ray debut on June 2.

"Slow West" (iTunes)
iTunes is releasing "Slow West" on May 15, the same day it comes out in theaters. So far, the movie -- which stars two "X-Men: Apocalypse" actors, just FYI -- is getting good reviews. Kodi Smit-McPhee plays 16-year-old Jay Cavendish, who journeys across the American frontier at the end of the 19th century in search of the woman he loves. He's joined by a mysterious traveler named Silas, played by Michael Fassbender.

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​Why Was Reese Witherspoon's 'Hot Pursuit' So Chilly at the Box Office?

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hot pursuit box officeNot that anyone expected huge numbers from Reese Witherspoon's new comedy "Hot Pursuit," especially with "Avengers: Age of Ultron" still sucking all the oxygen out of the multiplex. Even so, predictions ranged from $15 to $20 million for the buddy-comedy's Mother's Day weekend debut. Instead, it earned just an estimated $13.3 million.

The film's lackluster opening reinforces a number of lessons about the way the box office works now, some of which defy conventional wisdom. For instance:

Counterprogramming Doesn't Work. We've seen that over and over again this spring, especially with male-oriented action movies that have opened weakly against female-oriented smashes like "Fifty Shades of Grey" and "Cinderella." The opposite appears to be true as well for women-targeted movies opening against testosterone-heavy action blockbusters, especially when the spectacle you're programming against isn't entirely male-dominated but makes some effort to appeal to women as well, as the "Avengers" and "Fast and Furious" franchises do. Just because women ticketbuyers might not feel served by "Ultron" or "Furious 7" doesn't mean they're going to come out to the theater for a female buddy comedy instead.

Execution Matters. "Hot Pursuit" might have gotten away with being a pale photocopy of "The Heat," but that film had original characters, brazenly adult (R-rated) humor, and two proven box-office draws in the lead roles. By all accounts, "Hot Pursuit" has none of those things. Word-of-mouth on the movie is very poor, judging by the C+ it earned from CinemaScore. Critics almost universally panned the movie as well, which matters when you're targeting an older, female audience that actually cares about reviews. And speaking of that audience...

Don't Count on the Holiday Crowd. Just because it's Mother's Day weekend doesn't mean your mom wants to see a buddy-cop comedy that has two well-liked actresses in the lead roles. After all, the third place movie this weekend was "The Age of Adaline," which fell a tiny 10 percent from last week to score an estimated $5.6 million. After three weeks, it's still playing in 3,070 theaters, 67 more than "Hot Pursuit." If your mom has a choice between a romantic/fantasy drama that features a meaty supporting role for Harrison Ford and a buddy-cop comedy starring high-strung Tracy Flick and the intimidating bombshell from "Modern Family," which is she going to choose?

Sofia Vergara Is Not a Movie Star. Not yet, anyway. The "Modern Family" ensemble member may be the highest-paid actress on TV, but she hasn't been able to translate that level of small-screen notoriety into box office appeal. You can be gorgeous, funny, and talented and still be best-known to film audiences for playing third banana to a bunch of Smurfs. But then...

Star Power Doesn't Last. Witherspoon was a big box office draw as recently as seven years ago (when her comedy "Four Christmases" grossed $120.1 million). Lately, however, not so much. "Hot Pursuit" does mark her strongest debut in three years, since "This Means War" opened with $17.4 million. But the days of "Legally Blonde" and "Sweet Home Alabama" are far behind her.

She's in good company, at least, especially this week. No one's a better example of a faded box office draw than Arnold Schwarzenegger. Once upon a time, a zombie movie starring Ah-nuld would have opened wide and with tens of millions of dollars, but this weekend, his "Maggie" opened on just 79 screens with an estimated take of $131,000. ("The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water," now in its fourth month of release, did better than that this weekend, with an estimated $155,000.) Granted, it's being marketed as more of an indie drama about a father caring for his ailing daughter than a horror genre piece, but still, it's Arnold Schwarzenegger and zombies.

Then there's Jack Black's new comedy, "The D Train." Also an indie film, but one released on 1,009 screens. It was widely expected to make $2 million, but it earned just an estimated $469,000. That's just $465 per screen, about a fourth of what "Maggie" earned per showing.

All that is to say that any film that relies on star power alone to sell tickets is in deep trouble, especially if the star is past his or her box office prime.

One more thing: There's been a lot of talk about institutional sexism in Hollywood over the past couple weeks, especially with all the backlash over "Ultron" and its patronizing Black Widow storyline, Sony's drama over whether to pay Jennifer Lawrence her $20 million asking price to star in space-romance "Passengers," and the reluctance of Sony and Marvel (as outlined in a leaked e-mail) to make any superheroine movies because the only three major examples of the past 31 years ("Supergirl," "Catwoman," and "Elektra") have all flopped. A lot of industry observers have found that e-mail assessment especially unfair. After all, there have been several even bigger male superhero flops (most notoriously, "Green Lantern"), and that hasn't stopped anyone from greenlighting male spandex action spectacles. But the superheroine kerfuffle is seen as a symptom of a larger problem, which is that Hollywood is generally reluctant to make movies with prominent roles for women or that are targeted toward women ticketbuyers. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy: The industry feels such movies don't make money, so it doesn't make them, but because the studios won't make them, there are few counterexamples of successful female-driven movies. The ones that do get made and that do succeed, like "Fifty Shades" or "Cinderella" are considered flukes, rather than evidence of a hungry marketplace gobbling up what little is offered.

Witherspoon has tried to combat this by becoming a producer and creating opportunities for herself, including her drama "Wild," which earned her an Oscar nomination last winter, and now "Hot Pursuit." Unfortunately, the lackluster response to her new movie means it could be a while before a studio takes a chance on a Witherspoon production again, since women are not yet allowed to fail and keep working in Hollywood the way men are.

And that seems to be the real test of whether you've achieved lasting career success in the industry: not whether you make hit after hit, but whether you get to flop and still keep getting opportunities. Leonardo DiCaprio is allowed the occasional misfire, as are Will Smith and Tom Cruise and Sandra Bullock. When Witherspoon, Lawrence, Scarlett Johansson, Kristen Stewart, and other actresses get to make expensive stumbles like "Hot Pursuit" and move on to the next studio project, then we'll know that Hollywood has reached some measure of gender parity.

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Recap of 'Revenge' Season 4 Episode 23: Series Finale

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"Revenge" is officially over, which means we're in mourning -- aka eating our emotions in the form of expensive seafood while writing this recap. After four dramatic seasons full of twists, turns and amazing fashion, Emily Thorne's story has finally wrapped up -- and the show ended on a surprisingly satisfying note. Let's just say Emily's revengenda is complete.

Check out our recap to find out which characters bit the dust (spoiler alert: there were two deaths!) and whether or not Emily got the last laugh on ABC's "Revenge."

Victoria Attends Her Own Funeral, Remains Cray-Cray

So, Margaux is literally insane. Last week, this deranged magazine mogul killed Officer Ben Hunter in cold blood (correction: she hired Courtney Love to kill him), and this week she spent most of her time trying to help Victoria stay faux dead. And speaking of Victoria, The Hamptons OG Queen Bee is totally alive, and casually announces that the corpse she passed off as her own belonged to her mother. So yes, much like Margaux she's completely crazy -- which is only further proven when she shows up at her own funeral looking nuts in a red wig.

Thanks to Victoria realizing that her children have zero effs to give about her death, she decides to tell Louise Ellis the truth. To be honest, it's a sweet moment -- but then Louise calls her "mama" and it's all extremely weird. Shudder.

Emily Breaks Out of a High Security Prison #casual

After failing to expose Victoria's lies, Emily realizes that the only way to get out of jail is to admit she murdered Victoria. The catch? Pleading guilty allows Em to move into a maximum security prison that Nolan can easily break her out of (#NerdSkills), and she and Jack immediately hit up the home of Victoria's mom for some sleuthing.

So...wondering if Emily and Jack finally have sex? The answer is yes, and it's completely horrifying due to the fact that they get frisky in the bed belonging to Victoria's dead mom. Of course first they muse about their friendship, Jack's dead dog, Sammy (RIP, long-suffering friend), and the uncertainty of their future. Honestly, it's kind of cute -- despite the fact that Jack's facial hair is at an all time low.

Unfortunately, Em and Jack's afternoon delight is ruined by Courtney Love (psh, typical Courtney), who Margaux hires to haul Emily back to jail. Even more unfortunately, Courtney Love ends up stabbing Jack because Em is out getting proof of Victoria's fake death -- but fear not, a team of manly policemen come and save him.

Margaux and Louise Finally See The Light

After getting stabbed in the stomach by Courtney Love (how amazing is that sentence?), Jack ends up in the hospital and asks David Clarke for Emily's hand in marriage. Shockingly, he says yes. Meanwhile, Emily gets help from an unlikely ally: Louise! This southern belle tells Emily where Victoria is staying, and Em shows up in her lair to kill her. The catch? David follows Emily and shoots Victoria to save his daughter's soul, which means he's going to jail. BUT WAIT. A random gunman swoops in and shoots Emily!

Meanwhile, Nolan takes care of Margaux by breaking into her office and being like "Hi, hater," prompting Margs to do the right thing and turn herself into the police. Unfortunately, Nolan's hand gets stabbed by Courtney Love in the process (ugh, #COURTNEYLOVEPROBLEMS), but hey -- totally worth it.

One Wedding and a Funeral

Fast forward a few weeks and Charlotte and Emily (who definitely isn't dead) are visiting the grave of their dad, which means David Clarke finally succumbed to cancer. And yes, there's a double infinity sign on his grave. We get a chance to flash-back on the last moments of David's life and he's able to tell Em that he's going to die a happy man. Annnnnd, crying.

This is definitely a bitter-sweet way to end "Revenge" after four seasons, but having Emily saved by her father's love was a great feel-good note to go out on. Oh, and let's not forget the best part of the show's final minutes: Nolan walks Emily down the aisle as she marries Jack, and then the happy couple hop on a boat to parts unknown. Sure, Em has recurring nightmares that Victoria's heart is transplanted in her body, but at least she has Jack's goatee to make her feel better.

P.S. If you're wondering about Nolan, it looks like he's going to live life helping others get revenge. Like a boss!

P.P.S. Hands up if you think Victoria's heart is actually in Emily's body?

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'Game of Thrones' Recap: Bad News for Jorah and Dany in 'Kill the Boy'

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This is just a bad couple of weeks for Daenerys Targaryen's advisors. Last week on"Game of Thrones" Season 5, Ser Barristan Selmy was killed in an attack by the Sons of the Harpy. This week in Episode 5, "Kill the Boy," Dany's old buddy Ser Jorah Mormont revealed he got greyscale in still another remix on the book storyline. He got the deadly disease while saving Tyrion Lannister during an attack by The Stone Men. Blame Drogon, who distracted the guys at just the wrong moment. So how long does Jorah have? We'll see.

Meanwhile, Dany could really use some good counsel, like the kind Tyrion and Jorah might be able to offer. She had a seriously badass moment at the start of the episode, burning one of the wise masters in her anger at what happened to Ser B and company. She's determined to stop the Harpies. Is this the best way? Roose Bolton did say a marriage is the best way to form an alliance. Then again ... Roose Bolton. After a talk with Missandei, Dany turned a corner and apologized to Hizdahr, whom she had locked up. She told him she'd open the fighting pits (!) but only to freed men, and she'd try to unite Meereen by marrying into one of the oldest families -- his. (!!!) So Dany and Hizdahr zo Loraq are now engaged. This is a pretty close match to the book but with some important motivation twists. Can we trust Hizdahr? This could go either way, but he's more dangerous than he seems, even if just by influence. No matter what, she should not be marrying him.

So we had another questionable engagement this week, plus the prospect of poor Ser Jorah potentially dying (slowly, and painfully, as described in all of those foreshadowing talks) or perhaps he can be saved like Shrieen. Shireen, Stannis Baratheon and company are all on their way south to try and reclaim the North. Jon Snow wants to save the free folk and Tormund won't go to Hardhome without him.
Meanwhile, Roose and Ramsay Bolton know Stannis is coming, and Roose is also apparently going to curse the world with another offspring. His wife Walda is pregnant - which means the Frey/Bolton genes are mixing. If she does give birth, WE SHOULD KILL IT WITH FIRE. Then again, Ramsay may prevent her from ever having a child, since that child could potentially usurp him.

This week, Sansa and Theon finally reunited and even though she did not kick his arse, Theon was further punished with humiliation and Sansa was made deeply uncomfortable at one of the most awkward dinners ever. At least since the Red Wedding anyway. If the North really does "remember," can they help Sansa defeat the Boltons and take back Winterfell or is that just a pipe dream?

Next week we're meant to return to Arya's storyline and also check in with Littlefinger in King's Landing. If only Tyrion and Ser Jorah weren't now on foot they could potentially get to Meereen in enough time to stop Dany's wedding. But considering the trailer showed Jorah looking like he's in the fighting pits, we're guessing he doesn't quite get to return to court and save the day.

Read on for a recap of Episode 5:

Opening credits: We head to King's Landing, Winterfell, The Wall, Braavos, Meereen, and Dorne. And yet ... we never head to Braavos or Dorne this week. Sometimes the opening just throws us off but it's always cool.
MEEREEN
As you might expect, Missandei was right by Grey Worm's bedside after the attack, but he didn't die. Grey Worm felt like he failed Ser Barristan and his men, and he was ashamed to be afraid. Grey Worm and Missandei bonded and she even kissed him. So there was a silver lining to that attack.

Daenerys was broken up (but not sobbing, she's mostly pissed) about the loss of Ser Barristan the Bold, courtesy of butchers who hid behind masks. Daario suggested going street by street to clear out the rats. Dany decided to go with his earlier plan - round up the leaders of the great families, including Hizdahr. She pushed them all toward her dragons. Just a little reminder of why she's the Mother of Dragons and the queen. A good mother does not give up on her children. One of those children lit one of the great masters on fire and then they ate him. LOVE Dany when she's angry.

Dany said Ser B counseled mercy right up to the day he died. Daario wants a more aggressive approach. Dany wanted Missandei's opinion. She desperately needs more advisers -- good thing Tyrion and Ser Jorah (and Varys?) are on the way. But Missandei gave good perspective, just sharing what she'd seen from Dany as ruler. However, did that prompt Dany to make her big decision or was she already thinking of going in that direction, ala Jon's talk with Maester Aemon? (See below.)

Dany went into the dungeons and Hizdahr got on his knees to beg for his life. "It takes courage to admit fear, and to admit a mistake," Dany said. She said she was wrong and he was right about tradition. "I will re-open the fighting pits, to free men only." (Noooooo.) In order to forge a lasting bond with the Meereenese, she'll marry a member of one of the oldest families. "Thankfully a suitor is already on his knees." So it's her idea in this version.
THE WALL
Sam read a scroll off to Aemon Targaryen, who is dying. "A Targaryen alone in the world is a terrible thing." Cue Jon Snow. (Hint, hint) He asked for Aemon's advice on something he knew would divide the Watch. "You will find little joy in your command, but with luck you will find the strength to do what needs to be done. Kill the boy, Jon Snow. Winter is almost upon us. Kill the boy and let the man be born." You could argue he already showed some man strength with that head chop, but ... good advice.

Jon talked to Tormund about the rest of the free folk. Jon said the free folk (wildlings) belong to the realms of men. He asked Tormund to go north of the wall to bring the people back. He'll give them lands, he just wants them to fight alongside him when the time comes. Jon wants Tormund to go to Hardhome, but Tormund won't go without him.

As expected, the Night's Watch has no interest in bringing the wildlings among them; even Jon's own friends didn't want to forgive or forget, but Jon brings up the good point that those people are basically undead waiting to happen, and better to bring them south of the wall then fight them as wights. Olly thought it must be a trick from Jon Snow, since he lost everyone he ever knew to the wildlings. Jon drops his winter is coming line, saying they know what's coming with it and they can't face it alone. Olly isn't a fan of the idea but he stays professional. Jon is alone on this point.

Gilly and Sam had a talk about books, and where Sam grew up, and the Citadel in Oldtown. Sam wanted to be a maester when he was younger, he said. Feels like this is a set-up to getting his wish. Stannis came down to talk to Sam about his father, Randall Tarly, and the white walker Sam killed with dragonglass. Sam said he's seen the army of the dead, and when they come they have to know how to fight them.

Stannis told Davos "it's time," but Davos wanted to wait for Jon Snow's return with the wildlings, in case they joined him. Stannis said they can't wait; they should march at sunrise. Shireen went with them - pleeeease don't let anything happen to her. Davos didn't want her (or Queen Selyse) to go and he's usually right about these things. But Melisandre left too, so will she bring Stannis good luck?

POD & BRIENNE
Pod said maybe Lady Sansa is better off at Winterfell but Brienne gave him the verbal Are You Effing Kidding Me he deserved, reminding him that she'll never be better off with the people who killed her mother and brother. Sansa is in danger whether she knows it or not, Brienne said, and thank the gods for her wisdom. Brienne talked to a local guy and said she needed to get a message to Sansa, not that that worked well for Brienne the first time. But maybe Brienne can drum up support in the north.
WINTERFELL
Ramsay had a talk with one of his paramours, Miranda, who was apparently jealous. She thought he would marry her. (Oh poor you.) Ramsay admitted to Miranda that he's looking forward to their wedding night; she said perhaps she'll marry too. But she bored him with her jealousy and he reminded her what happens to people who bore him. So they had some angry sex by a window.

Meanwhile, Sansa was visited by that woman who said the north remembers. She said Sansa still has friends there and if she needs help to light a candle in the tower window. "You're not alone."

Miranda tried to play nice with Sansa, complimenting her gloves and dress; Sansa was taught the stitching by her mother so they discussed Lady Catelyn. Miranda brought Sansa down to the dogs ... and showed her Theon all tied up in a pen. What a lovely reunion. Sansa just stormed out. Theon told Ramsay that Sansa saw him, and Ramsay said Theon mustn't keep secrets from him. Theon put out his hand and Ramsay placed his own on it. "I forgive you."

There was an awkward dinner with Sansa, Ramsay, Roose and Roose's wife. Ramsay toasted their wedding, and Sansa said it's not strange to be there, it's her home. It's the people who are strange. SHADE. Theon served them at dinner and Ramsay discussed how they were reunited. Ramsay was like a talk show host pushing all the buttons for maximum discomfort. Ramsay introduced Sansa to "Reek" and she wisely asked why he was doing this. Theon was pushed to apologize for what he did, including killing Bran and Rickon even though they are not dead. The lesson has to be how much control Ramsay can maintain over enemies. As in the book, Ramsay says Theon should give away the bride.

One sour note for Ramsay, which made Sansa happy, is that Walda appears to be pregnant, which means a trueborn heir may take his place. He knows he's only Roose's son "until a better alternative comes along." Can you blame Roose for wanting a better option? Then again, we can blame Roose for anything, especially after telling the story of how he raped Ramsay's mother. Roose and Ramsay discussed Stannis' strategy - they know Stannis wants the Iron Throne and first he wants to take the North.
TYRION & JORAH
Tyrion went from boredom in that wheelhouse to boredom with silent Ser Jorah in the boat. Tyrion basically admitted he's an alcoholic but he was interrupted by a sail through Valyria. "Aren't you afraid of the Doom?" "No, but pirates are." They sailed past beautiful ruins, in still another twist on the book's storyline.

As they were sailing, they saw Drogon fly overhead. Distracted, they missed one of the Stone Men falling from the bridge. Don't let them touch you! Ser Jorah battled the stone men but Tyrion was tied up so he couldn't do anything. He was pushed into the water and pulled down. But Jorah got him up and even freed his hands. They both said the stone men didn't touch them. Do you believe it? They lost their boat so they had to go on foot, with a long walk ahead. Jorah hid his arm from Tyrion, but he showed he does have greyscale. Oh, Jorah. All this, just to get back in Dany's friend zone.

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